As we navigate the journey of life, it is inevitable that we encounter grief and loss at various times, and it can be complicated. While often associated with the death of a loved one, relationship loss as in breakups, divorces, and estrangements can lead to intense feelings of grief and loss. Additionally, life changes like job loss, moving, empty nest syndrome, or a debilitating illness can all trigger these powerful emotions.

Grief can have substantial impacts on mental and physical health. For instance, 83% of people who experience grief report feelings of sadness, while 42% report depression and 31% have sleep disturbances. A recent Amerispeak and WebMD survey found that 57% of Americans are grieving the loss of someone close to them over the last three years.

Anyone who has experienced grief and loss knows it can cause a wide range of emotions. Sadness is the most common emotion associated with grief, though it can manifest in other ways, from deep sorrow to tearfulness. You might feel anger at the person you lost, at yourself, or even at the situation itself. You may question your actions or decisions leading up to the loss fueling feelings of guilt.

The absence of your loved one can leave you feeling isolated and alone. The future can also feel uncertain, leading to fear and anxiety. In the initial stages of grief, you may feel emotionally numb as a way to cope with the pain. Depending on the nature of the loss, you might experience feelings of shame.

While grief and loss are natural responses to life experiences, sometimes the intensity or suddenness of the event can be overwhelming. This can lead to symptoms of trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), such as intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and avoidance of reminders of the loss.

Whether you live in Massachusetts or Rhode Island, The Psyched Group has therapists who specialize in grief and loss and are available via virtual or in-person sessions.

Processing emotions – whatever they are

There is no right or wrong way to feel after a loss. Any emotions, from deep sadness or anger to finding peace, are all valid. Most are familiar with the “five stages” of grief in Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ 1969 book, On Death and Dying, which she lays out five stages mourners pass through on their way to recovery: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While there is truth to these now-famous five stages, grief is not a “one size fits all” experience.

It's important to allow yourselves to feel and process any emotions you are experiencing throughout the process with compassion and understanding. Suppressing or ignoring emotions can hinder the healing process. Further, unexpressed grief can manifest in physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, and stomach pain and can lead to a higher risk of heart disease. By acknowledging and processing them, you allow yourself to begin to move forward in a healthy way.

The emotions of grief can be confusing, and processing these emotions helps you understand what you're feeling and why. This can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms and allows you to integrate the loss into your story and maintain a connection to what you've lost in a healthy way. While the intense pain of loss may fade over time, it never truly disappears, and processing your emotions allows you to gradually move forward with your life and find joy again in whatever life has in store.

My personal story

In the year 2000, tragedy struck when my 60-year-old father received a terminal cancer diagnosis. I redirected my priorities to be by his side, becoming his primary caretaker. Shortly after his death 10 months later, I enrolled in a holistic mental health counseling master’s program at Salve Regina University in Newport, Rhode Island, which had an art expressive therapy focus. During this challenging time, I found solace in art therapy, a powerful tool that helped me express my emotions and navigate my grief. I went on my own journey of using art as a healing modality. You can read more about art therapy here.

Unique strategies for healing

While I found help and healing through art therapy, we all have to find what resonates with our unique needs. Here are some ideas:

• Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be incredibly cathartic.
• Mindfulness Techniques: Meditation, yoga, and deep breathing can help manage overwhelming emotions.
• Support Groups: Connecting with others who understand your loss can be invaluable. This can be done informally with friends and family members who have experienced loss or through an organization like Faith & Family Hospice of Marlborough, Hope Floats Healing & Wellness Center, Good Shepherd Community Care, and many others.
• Creative Expression: Art therapy, music, painting, performing, coloring, or writing offer a non-verbal medium for people to communicate complex feelings and experiences and can offer a healthy outlet for grief.
• Therapy: A therapist can provide personalized guidance and support on your grief journey for whatever length of time you need.

What to expect in grief therapy

Depending on the therapist’s approach and style, a typical therapy session focused on grief and loss at The Psyched Group, which can take place in-person or virtually, might involve:

• Discussing your specific experience and emotions.
• Identifying healthy coping mechanisms which resonate with you.
• Exploring ways to honor your loved one's memory (if applicable).
• Developing strategies to manage triggers and move forward in a healthy way.

There's no one-size-fits-all approach to coping or grieving. The path you take, the emotions you encounter, and the pace at which you travel are all unique to you. There's no right or wrong way to navigate this journey. Be gentle with yourself, acknowledge and accept your emotions, and seek support to help you along the way.

Book a therapist session today

Whether you live in Rhode Island or Massachusetts, grief counseling is available through The Psyched Group. Our therapists understand that everyone grieves differently, and we offer a variety of approaches to help you move through the process of grieving to a place of healing.

In time, positive emotions can result from your grief journey. In some cases, there may be a sense of relief, especially if the loss involved someone suffering from a long-term illness. Over time, with healthy processing, you may come to accept the reality of the loss. You might feel grateful for the time you had with the person or experience you lost. The love you shared with the person can continue to be a source of strength or the lessons learned through a lost experience can bring about clarity for the future and new opportunity.

Consider reaching out to The Psyched Group for guidance and support in your grief journey. To find a qualified therapist in Rhode Island or Massachusetts, click here.